Photos....

Recently received a text from the Bath agent. They'd organised a photo day in Bristol, so if I wanted mine updated...

So .....

As you can see, there's a certain qualitative difference between these pictures.

If you think I look a bit rough, well all I can say is that this is a fairly standard casting agency bodyshot for a background actor. And I'd had a rush to get there, ages to find a parking space etc.. The other photo is a typical agents /Spotlight picture for an actor.

Actor is Natalia Tena. She worked on one of the 'Afterlife' episodes that I did.


Andrew

"The Other Boleyn Girl " / Cameron Diaz

I received payment this week for a bit of my work on "The Other Boleyn Girl'.
Anyway, having received some of the money that Boleyn Productions Ltd of Pinewood (aka Sony/Columbia Pictures) owe me, I feel able to recount a lighter moment from this film...

On the last day of filming at Chalfield Manor near Bath, the weather was fairly grim. If it wasn't raining, it was getting ready to... The day wore on , running late, constant interrupts to the shoot. Multiple changes of hot-water bottles for the stars, Scarlet Johannsen, Natalie Portman, Eric Bana. For the director/assistant directors, crew.., life increasingly tense. Though not for the extras ....

Most days the background actors had crowded into the cow-shed. However, on this last day there was just 8..., 5 manservants and 3 woman-servants. We rested in the manor tea-room. Warm, cosy, convivial, coffee, biscuits. Snug as bugs in a very large rug. As life got darker and colder outside, and dark, damp, brooding figures carrying film equipment trudged past in the mud, they would gaze in as the jokes and the laughter grew.

With us was the costumier .., Jacqi. Impassive, done this work for 30 years, part of the roving band of location filmspeople.., half of life spent in edge-of-town hotels. Impassive at first, but she gradually opened up, and told a little story.

Once upon a time, there was a big budget Hollywood production somewhere in the U.S. The actors included Cameron Diaz. Jacqui and various other Brits were in the crew.

One evening, at the end of the day's shoot, Diaz returned to her trailer. She opened the door, and right in front of her she saw that someone had laid an absolutely giant turd. Beautifully formed, almost steaming, and with a lovely curly, piggy-tail on top. Needless to say, this caused great consternation and...

Next morning, the American producer gathered the whole crew together. This was serious, the famous American sense of humour had failed. "I think you all know why I am speaking to you today. This is a very serious matter, and I want the person who did this to step forward.."

And as his voice echoed out over the assembly, little speech bubbles formed above the heads .. "I did it..", "No,it was me.." , "No, no it wasn't him,I did it..". And.., well no.

Cameron Diaz took it all quite well, apparently.

'Victoria Cross Heroes' - Channel 5 --- Update

I watched the second episode of 'Victoria Cross Heroes' on Channel 5 last night. I was in it. At least, the bottom two thirds of my wellington boots and half of my arms were.

I had to laugh...; all that dressing up, the layers of clothing, sweating my bollocks off on a hot beach. All that, just for a pair of on-screen wellies.

The takes and retakes, over and over again lifting that body on to a stretcher.... "Phew.., fucking hell, Gino. Next time you play a corpse, you're goin to have to cut back on the pasties a bit.... "

'Victoria Cross' documentary - Channel 5

Last night I watched, on Channel 5 TV, the first episode of the documentary that I worked on in September. At least, I watched the first 5 or 10 minutes ; cheap special effects, just a general feel of cheapness about the whole thing. Urghh, and I told my family about this job, quite looked forward to watching it. Maybe the 1st assistant Director and Locations Director fighting in a pub garden wasn't a good sign.

Anyway, I wasn't in this episode. I'm in the episode about Commander Loftus of the destroyer 'The Shark' at the battle of Jutland in the First World War. I hope it improves.

The local freelance newspaper photographer Steve Guscott was there in September and photographed Andy Brownlie and I. The pic got printed across the South West.




After we had finished on the beach, we all drove a couple of miles down the road to Watchet, where I had lived in 1970, and did some more shots.

Took a quick photo of train pull out of station on the West Somerset Railway. Used to go to school in Taunton from here.

'Persuasion'

I did the Persuasion job last Saturday. I played the candle seller. My stall right next to the cake stall, which was pretty handy, and tasty.

Very different experience on this job, to 'The Other Boleyn Girl'.

1. No repeated threats of dismissal, in case any of the
extras carried mobile phones, and thus cameras.
2. No displays of obsequiousness to expensive, cosseted Hollywood
actors.
3. No casting agents on location trying to stem revolt among the
extras, because the agent has cut a deal with the production
company. So blatant; all you can do is curl your nose, and hope
you don't inhale too much of the smell.
[The lie: "We don't cut deals with production companies." ]
4. Good food. That is, not finding yesterdays Cumberland sausage in
todays steak pie.
5. Not feeling generally like a piece of meat, herded around on
demand.

Yes, an enjoyable day. All dressed up in 19th century gear,
walk the 700 yds through the busy centre of Bath to get to the
location. Good food. And, just about everyone I spoke to, who had
worked on 'Persuasion' earlier in the week while I was at
"..Boleyn Girl", .... said they had enjoyed it.

An onlooker had a mobile/camera....



Andrew

Jane Austen's 'Persuasion'...

Well, surprise..., the Bath agent phoned me mid-afternoon yesterday
to ask if I would do some work on 'Persuasion', Saturday. I drove
across for the costume fitting today.

I play a market trader, and I reckon I looked pretty good in that
gear, complete with 19th century winklepicker shoes. Unlike my role
in 'The Other Boleyn Girl'..., in which I look more like a hard-faced,
rather malevolent character than the servant that I'm really playing.

Anyway, the call-time on 'Boleyn Girl' tomorrow is 6am. So the alarm
will be set for 4.15am.

And I'm off to bed now.

Andrew

'The Other Boleyn Girl' ....

Tuesday 26th September...

This all started about a month ago when the agent phoned
, and she mentioned a minimum of three days work, probably
more, between 2 - 7 October. In a period drama.

I'd had several calls from her in the previous few months,
checking my availability for films, documentaries. So this
time I asked.., "Is this an availability check, or is it
real..?" It was real. And could I grow a beard, and let
my hair grow long.

I didn't hear much after that, but did a couple of other
jobs, where I mentioned to other people about the 2-7 Oct
and it seems that this 'period drama' is the film
of Jane Austen's 'Persuasion'.

Anyway, the third week in September dawned, and the 'offer'
had transformed from 3 days definite, probably more.... into..

a costume fitting, and asked to be available for the last week
in September and the first week in October, at upwards of 13%
less rate of pay than was originally mentioned. And with no
offers about number of days work. This all became clear so late
in the day, that I felt that I had been taken for a ride.
Particularly in making myself unavailable for other work. Oh,
and I forgot to mention , no overtime. And it was a completely
different film.


So anyway... Tuesday the 26th came. The production company
people had told me before I left on Monday night that I wouldn't
be needed the next day. So on the Tuesday morning I mulled a few
things over.

About 2pm I received a text message from the agent, to say that they
needed me for the Wednesday, and could I text them back to confirm.
I didn't reply. About 3 oclock, they tried phoning me on my mobile.
I didn't answer it, and they left a voicemail. I returned home about
5, and found that they had also phoned my landline. I phoned them
then.

An assistant answered. I said.. "I got your message, and yes I'll
do your job for you tomorrow. And I'd like a few words with Kate
(the agent). The agent was on the other phone, so she would call
me back.

She did.. I didn't mess around too much. I said that I didn't much
like the way that something definite had transformed into something
else completely, and completely one-sided. And "I don't quite know
how this fits with your view of things, but when I work on something
big budget, and I'm working about 5 yards away from people being paid
about 10 Million, I like to feel that in some way I'm sharing in the
largesse, even as an extra. If I was working on something with no
budget, but was creative and interesting, then I'd be willing to work
for nothing. This is a big film, and they've just had 15 hours of my
time for less than the minimum wage."

And she apologized. A huge, huge, apology. Some of the others had
been on to her that day. No petrol money. No recompense for taxi
fares for people without cars getting out to somewhere in the back of
beyond in the early hours of the morning. People feeling that they
were being treated as second-class life-forms on set. Long day,
stiffed on the rate.

She said that she wished she hadn't taken on this film, that it was a
100 Million film being made for 30 Million. That the agency was
earning virtually nothing from it. That she had to some extent been
pressurised into it. And that she had lain awake at night 'worrying
about you guys'. Etc..

Quite a performance. If it was a performance, then it was an
Oscar-winning one. It seemed genuine to me. So I accepted it. For now.

Janet Street-Porter ....

Looks like I've got to correct something....

On one of my earlier posts, I suggested that perhaps the reason
for Janet Street-Porter's 6 marriages was her moaning.

Apparently this is not true, at least according to the more recent
article in one of the Sunday's. According to Janet, within quite
a short time of marrying her first husband Tim Street-Porter, she
was off sleeping with various people. She didn't feel anything for
them, it was just good sex, and she didn't give the matter(s) much
of a second thought. And she didn't feel that she was doing
anything objectionable.

However, she wrote, when Tim found out he seemed to get terribly
upset, and promply left her. And she felt that she had ruined a
perfectly good marriage.

...... 3am. Front door opens. Figure enters hallway. Climbs stairs.
[Camera follows]. No knickers. Bitemarks on bum. "I'm home, dear.."

"The Other Boleyn Girl" - First day of location filming

Monday 25 September

04.50am Alarm, out of bed, etc..

05.30am Into the car and off down the road for the 40 mile drive to Chalfield Manor, near Bradford-upon-Avon. Decided to take the minor roads, however, I didn't reckon on the heavy pre-autumn fog. Took wrong turns twice, almost crashed, slowed down, missed the 06.30 call, got there at 10 to 7.

Changed into costume, make up. Tudor manservant. Black stockings, garters. Almost immediate call to head for the Manor. Worked all the way thru to lunch. Separate food wagon for the background people. And noticeably inferior food. I had Tuna Montezuma for my main course. And syrup sponge with custard for afters, on the basis that no-one in this country would dare to screw up syrup sponge with custard. And it was quite good actually, though I didn't have long to enjoy it. This was a 20 minute lunch break, and I just about had time to clear the dish before we were called back on set.

Worked all the way through to wrap at 6.30pm, return to costumery, change, sign out.
7.30pm. Arrived home at 8.45pm.

During the day, there had been lots of comparing notes amongst the extras. Basically, just about everyone felt that they had been stitched up financially. More on this later. With the exception of the odd smattering of drama studies graduates, and live at home students, everyone else was in 'got to earn a living' mode. Several musicians.

I went to bed early, about 10, couldn't get to sleep properly. Eventually got up about 2am for a glass of water. Got back into bed, turned off the light, and started crying. Slept ok after that.

Busy week...

Yes, indeed...

Tuesday. Drive down to North Devon for the first day of shooting for 'Jam and Jerusalem'. New series with Jennifer Saunders, Dawn French, Joanna Lumley. Sunny day, filming around the town square, and a beautiful church and churchyard.
Great stuff. Met an interesting guy, Ed Dahl, whose just getting going with writing for tv and radio.

Wednesday. Across to Bath for a fitting for 'The Other Boleyn Girl'. They only offered tea and coffee, so afterwards I headed out of the industrial estate to the next industrial estate down the road. Found what I was looking for, the bacon butty post. I wanted a bacon sandwich. But all there was on the menu was a roll or a baguette. The roll looked pretty small on the photo so I ordered a baguette. A bacon one with mushrooms. When it arrived it was enormous. So I headed back to the car with my coffee and baguette, and tried to eat this thing. The only way I could manage without spilling the contents all over my lap was to steadily stuff it into my mouth, a continuous process of swallowing and, 2 inches forward of that, chewing until it was all gone. I sat there for several minutes, bloated, feeling..., "I wish I hadn't done that..."

Ah yes, the film. Costume drama. Anne Boleyne's more beautiful sister. Natalie Portman, Scarlet Johannsen. Sony Pictures, lots of money..., for the lead actors.

As I was driving home, I had a call from the Bath agent, asking if I was interested in a job in North Taunton. I said yes to that.

Thursday. 'North Taunton' turned out to be Blue Anchor, West Somerset, at a beachside pub 2 miles alomg the road from Watchet, the town where my family had lived 35 years ago.
I played a Swedish fisherman in 'Victoria Cross Heroes'. Like a furnace inside about 5 layers of fisherman's clothing. The outer clothes were a kind of oiled, or waxed, cotton trousers and a smock-like top, with all the wool and cotton layers, vest, shirt, jumper etc. If the day had been a real winter day those clothes would have been wonderful, and very light too.

A press photographer for a lot of the local newspapers came down, and photographed me and the other fisherman. He'll send me copies, so I'm looking forward to that.

'Afterlife' and football...

Did another day of 'Afterlife' this week, I think that's the end of the new series under production. Location was Bristol City football club. Years since I've been to a football match. Several come to mind....

Student in Glasgow 1971.
Celtic v Partick Thistle in the 1971 League Cup final in Glasgow. Standing on the terracings as the urine-filled lager cans lobbed and rained over my head. Someone peeing on the ground behind me. Bovril at half-time. 3-1 to Partick Thistle, a famous victory.

1970 thru 1972. My home town team was Stranraer, and though I didn't often watch them when I actually lived in Stranraer, I went regularly to their away games when I went to university in Glasgow.

Freezing cold winter Saturday afternoons at Hampden, versus Queens Park as 500 spectators stood in that 100,000 capacity stadium. Up to Stirling to play Stirling Albion, elbows flying, and crunching tackles. For a 0-0 draw. Face raw with the cold thinking... "There's got to be something better than this..."

One of the flats I lived in after I left university was about 50 yards from the remains of Cathkin Park, the football ground for Third Lanark the only, I think, Scottish League team to completely go bust and disappear. When I got there in 1972/73 the ground had been abandoned for about 6 years. Though it looked about 30 years.

This is Cathkin Park now......




I noticed the other day that the actors Sean Connery and Billy Connolly were interested in resuscitating Third Lanark. Be quite interesting if anything comes of that.

'Casualty'...

I did that 'Casualty' job on Tuesday. At Henbury school near Bristol. A 12 hour stint through to half seven in the evening. Mid-way through I got a call from the Costumery guy on 'Afterlife', for this coming Monday. I'm scheduled to wear a suit on this one. He asked me what colour. Dark greyish. He said that was fine, then he got to the bit that he was really interested in. For the plot, he needed something bright to offset the suit and mentioned something about a lilac shirt. I thought.., "You must be **cking joking!" However, what I actually said was "Yes,I'll see what I can do..."

Actually,I'm going to do absolutely bugger all. I've got a lime green shirt that I bought from a charity shop. So that's what 'Afterlife' is going to get. I've also got some really loud ties, so one of them will do. There is an arithmetical issue here. That day is a 50 pound day. After the agent has had their commission its a 42.50 day. Take off the fuel costs of getting there and its a 35 pound day. For The last 'Afterlife' I did almost 2 months ago, and haven't received payment for yet, I bought a shirt in a charity shop which more or less made it a 31 pound day ....

So this time, fuck it, they 're offering peanuts, and they'll get what I've got.

Anyway, while I was on 'Casualty', I got into conversation with one of the other background people, and in doing so I mentioned... "What I could really do with right now is about a weeks work on a film or some lucrative work on a commercial..."

The next day, Wednesday, I was in a supermarket carpark just about to get into my car when the mobile went off... An agent offering work between 2 - 7 October on a film/drama in Bath. Minimum 3 days probably more. So I was pretty chuffed with that.

Just coincidence?

Agents... continued

Looks like my comments to that Bristol agent about not doing any more of their cut-price jobs..., may have had some effect. Any way, they phoned me up yesterday asking if I was interested in doing 'Casualty' next Tuesday. That'll make 3 agents that I've dealt with in doing work on 'Casualty'. The one that I did quite a bit of work through, S W Casting went bust a couple of months ago, Phoenix in Bristol who offered me this job, and another one Mad Dog Casting in Bath, an offshoot of one of those London body-shop agencies, thousands of people on the books. The first job I did for Mad Dog was last February. One day up in Warwick on the TV series Mayo. I accepted it because it got the Mad Dog registration fee out of the way. Freezing cold, wet Sunday, out of bed at 4.30 am. 120 mile drive to Warwick. Took ages to find the location. Did the job, drove home. By the time I'd paid for fuel, the agent took their registration fee, and commission..., I earned a tenner that day. 11 o'clock that night, I logged onto the forum of Casting Collective, another big London agent, made several succinct comments about agents, and shortly afterwards they banned me from the forum.

I do wish sometimes, that maybe if I had done some nice, respectable profession like accountancy.... Long ago, when I did programming, once a year I would go to see my accountant, park the Porsche up, and hop into the very respectable offices in Salisbury, Wilts. Like chalk and cheese, we'd talk about income tax, and corporation tax, and I'd ask, "How's business for you Brian, How is Salisbury just now?". And Brian would reply that retail was quite strong just now.

In a while, I'm going to review whether to continue with extra/background work. There isn't really much creative about it, and the last one I did, when I was doing the nodding my head, and moving my lips in apparent conversation., I mothed "Rhubard, rhubarb, shit , fuck, bollocks, Merlot, Beaujolais, what do you prefer". And suchlike..., the person, at the end of the take, who I was addressing this to ... "You're not taking this seriously , are you..?". Well, I was actually.., because my back was to the camera.

Any way, this Tuesday, up to Bristol for Casualty, on location somewhere. Another few jobs , and I'll maybe be able to do something about my car..; I'm getting a bit scared of driving it. Even Peugeot diesels die eventually.

Agents....

Had a call from an agent this afternoon. From Bristol. Was I interested in some work on the "Afterlife" TV series in a couple of weeks time. I was feeling a bit razzled after a recent internet brawl, so it wasn't the best moment. "Uh.., yes, I can do that..". And then. "Is this another one of your 40 pound a day jobs?". It was. 50 actually. I did some work on this series about a month ago. There is a little clause in an agreement somewhere which says that if a production company has more than 40 background artists working that day, then the producers can pay a lot lower rate. So that day I said yes, because my artistic integrity isn't yet formed, or sullied, by cash. And I needed the money. Anyway, when I got there, after a couple of hours I did a bit of counting, as you do. And I could only come up with about 27 or 28 others. I'm not quite sure if someone is being stiffed, but generally, I felt a bit miffed. Quite a nice day though. The location was Bristol Grammar School. Someone I met had done some work on 'Dr Who' sometime. He'd been a Dalek. Apparently, the scripts would be taped onto the inside of the Daleks and read from there. "Ok, everyone. From "I am a Dalek", Take 27.., Quiet please.., and..., "Action..".

I caught an episode of 'Extras' on TV last night, one where the hero goes to visit his useless agent, played by Stephen Merchant. A while back, someone described Merchant as having the look of 'a stoned meerkat'. I understand he'll be seen much more in the new series.

Anyway, in the last job on 'Afterlife' I played a university lecturer. They asked me to wear a neat shirt that wasn't red, white, or black. And also neat trousers. And a briefcase. I could see the question hanging in the air..."Do you have a tweed jacket with leather armpads?", but it didn't land.

So I managed to retrieve my briefcase from somewhere. A brown Samsonite, last used in a 1 year stint selling life insurance. Awful job. Cold-calling, going through telephone directories, sleeping with clients. Absolutely bloody awful. No one ever lapsed a policy on me, though, so perhaps I did something right.

Still waiting for my money for that day. And they want me as a lecturer again.
The agent conversation ended with... "Look, you've phoned me twice in 17 months, and each time they've been low-rate jobs. I won't do any more of them after this one".

Last time, on Afterlife, I spent some time around Andrew Lincoln. We were just about to do a take when he went off to be sick. I did gain the impression that he had quite a convivial off-set, after hours relationship with the crew. And also in between takes he'd be buried in "Hugo Johnson's Wine Companion". So maybe it's actor's nerves, or else he's learning the hard way about Tesco's 2.99 .

Just about my lot for tonight... except I was reading earlier somthing about the film "Blow Up". And I remembered that Janet Street-Porter had worked as an extra on it. Don't remember seeing her in it. Most times I've seen her on TV, she comes across rather well. Years ago she was on Room 101 with Paul Merton, and she did a really good mimic of a builders labourer.., something to do with bottom cleavage... And just the other day, she was on that programme with that Scottish chef. I actually found myself thinking, "Hhmm , quite fancy her.., smart, funny." I did though remember that she's been married about half a dozen times. So there's obviously Something About Janet that wears 'em down. The moaning, I expect. On the theory that the public displays are just a fraction of what really goes on. There's only room for, er, one moaner in my life.

BDF tribute to King Tubby and Augustus Pablo

Egyptian Reggae....

Found this while I was having a look for the lyrics to "Apache".

Wonder who was in the camel, they look like dancers.
Can't be Beryl and Mavis the tea-ladies..?

Couldn't find the lyrics for Apache.

What I've got so far....

I've got to leave my ???
To reach my destination

I need a reservation
to go back to the reservation
I'm gonna leave my home town
???? ???? home ground
APACHE

Bbut... Apache doesn't have any lyrics.... It does now!